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We’ve seen beans racing, and penguins racing, but we have not yet seen cats racing. That is because cats will not stoop to such frivolities, where it can be reasonably avoided. Cats are too self-respecting to get caught up in silly online multiplayer party games. Please. Don’t insult their intelligence, their divinity, their mastery of the environment and of your emotions. Cats don’t need 2-9 player scrambles across the rooms of an eccentric manor house, with customisable outfits and various minigames. What? Jumping Jazz Cats? No. I won’t recognise it. This is a work of impossible sedition. Impossible, cute sedition. Pay no attention to the trailer below.
Jumping Jazz Cats describes itself as “pussycat parkour”, skillfully avoiding a far naughtier way of wording the same idea. Well done, Team 17 copywriter. I would not have been able to resist.
“These amical mini-games are played in teams,” says the game’s blurb, “and include rip-roaring races, fat cat collectathons and epic showdowns between shadow cats and mighty lions.”
It’s basically a party game about sliding down rails, scratching up furniture, bounding from table jelly, and clambering up bookcases in a fright. As the owner of a cat I can only say: correct. If anything, it is not chaotic enough. There’s local multiplayer for 4 people, and you can unlock certain collar tags that will buff your cat in as-yet-unexplained ways.
Jazz music also appears to be a big theme, with some minigames sporting rhythm game prompts, and other levels featuring big dreamlike musical instruments stretching across the rooms. My favourite jazz musician cat remains fellow Irish stray Thomas O’Malley from The Aristocats, aka Baloo but small and ginger.
You know, we have a list of the best cats in games. But that was sadly written before the release of both Stray and Little Kitty Big City (Pipclosure: former RPS writer Pip Warr worked on the latter). Do we need to update that listicle? I don’t know. What would a cat do?
Yes, you’re right. They’d climb the curtains, shred the sofa, and then go to sleep. The list update can wait. Just like anyone waiting for Jumping Jazz Cats, which has aloofly set its release date as “coming soon”.