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Baldur’s Gate 3 is a relentlessly horny videogame, Alice B wrote back in August, and that certainly describes the shock I felt when noted Githyanki grouch Lae’zel abruptly told me that she was down to clown, a whole three hours in. “Ms Lae’zel, I happen to be a graduate of BioWare Sex University,” I told her sternly, adjusting my robe. “If I’m going to have a torrid liaison in an RPG it’ll be 60 hours from now, just before the final battle, and let’s face it, I’m more likely to get scared of alienating party members and end up friendzoning everybody.”
Lae’zel proved persuasive, however – “I like the way you stink,” was how I think she phrased it – and one risque fade-to-black later, we were triumphantly entwined in post-coital bliss. Well, at the risk of empirically demonstrating that romance is dead, it turns out that might have been a technical problem. According to Larian CEO Sven Vincke, Baldur’s Gate 3 characters were accidentally encoded to have very low standards at launch. Haha, I certainly can’t relate!
“So… it was a bug,” Vincke told TheGamer, during a chat at PAX West. “The approval thresholds were too low when we shipped. That’s why they were so horny in the beginning. It wasn’t supposed to be that way. We’ve fixed it since, at least for some of them. We’re still fixing a few of them.” Vincke didn’t specify who exactly has been “fixed” and who remains due for desexification, but he did add that the bug affected smooth-talking wizard Gale in particular. “[He] wasn’t supposed to be like, instantly there.”
Vinckie also touched on the mixed reactions players felt to being propositioned in Baldur’s Gate 3, agreeing that it would be “problematic” for people to behave that way in reality. “There were a lot of people that enjoyed it. But it was too fast,” he said. “It was supposed to simulate how real relationships are.” This might be a good opportunity to revisit Cara Ellison’s (RPS in peace) S.EXE columns. Or, if you’re having trouble finding a bedfellow or even just a Platonic soulmate in Faerûn, here’s Whitney’s Baldur’s Gate 3 romance guide.
Disclosure: Former RPS deputy editor Adam Smith (RPS in peace) now works at Larian and is the lead writer for Baldur’s Gate 3. Former contributor Emily Gera also works on it.